Captain Fly and the Screwy Seven
by TheCrazyClarinetist
Summary: Yes, I wrote another parody... this is a parody of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs that's written in the timeframe of the Screwy Seven, a group of friends. --PART TWO UP--
1. Prologue

This is the prologue of the Band parody of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."  It will be written in the timeframe of the Screwy Seven ((group of close friends)), so... yeah...  Read on!  ^.^

Captain Fly and the Screwy Seven

By TheCrazyClarinetist on November 3, 2002

            _Once upon a time there lived a Trumpet playing Band director named Mr. F.  There was an evil High Band director that wanted his band to be better then Mr. F's.  The High Band director feared that the South band would do better than his at UIL.  Because of this, he was always mean to Mr. F's bands and called him Captain Fly._

_            Every day the evil High Band director was mean to his bands and made them play until they couldn't stand it any longer.  He'd say…_

"Answer me truthfully, y'all,

Who can play their music the best of all?"__

            …and as long as his bands said, "WE CAN!!!!!!!!" then the evil High Band director was happy.  Captain Fly was safe from his wrath.

There's the prologue.  I'll post the next part this afternoon... possibly.  **grin**  Hey, go on fp.net and read my new story.  It's sci-fi, something I've NEVER written  before, and I want to see what people think!  LoL  Now, press the pretty little button and review...


	2. Part One: The OOCness begins

Thanks for all of the reviews!  ^.^

Disclaimer: I do not own Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and almost every person in here is COMPLETELY out of character... mainly Mr. F, but that's okay!  ^.^  LoL  Just so ya know...  

Part I     

The evil High Band director stood in front of his Band class.  The Brass section had blown out their lips and he asked, "Answer me truthfully, y'all, who can play their music the best of all?"

            The Band president raised her hand.  "Well, it's somebody else…" she answered very hesitantly.

            The evil High Band director looked stunned.  This has never happened before!  "REVEAL THE DIRECTOR'S NAME!!!"

            "Well…  his hair always sticks up in the back and his fly tends to be down sometimes."  The girl hid behind her music stand and hummed loudly.

            He gasped.  "CAPTAIN FLY!!!!!!"

*-*-*-*

            Meanwhile, Captain Fly was in the office during his lunch period checking out his gelled down hair in a mirror and saying over and over again, "Sassy!  Sassy!  Sassy!  Sassy!!"  He ate a French fry and went on to check his teeth.  

            Ms. Scott, the assistant band director, walked in.  She could hear him before she even entered the office, and when she saw him she stared at him and blinked.  "What the HECK are you doing?!?!"

            He stopped abruptly and looked up at her.  "Nothing…" He sat back in his chair and counted the pencils that he had thrown into the ceiling.

            She let out an exasperated sigh and sat down, ignoring the fact that he was singing a fishing song to himself.  ((OOC!))

*-*-*-*

            "I have brought you here for a reason," the evil High Band director said to his assistant director. "You are to go to Captain Fly's lair and break his batons!!!!!!!!!"

            The assistant gasped.  "I can't!"

            "YOU MUST!!!"  The evil director screeched and rose in his chair.  The assistant twitched.  "If Captain Fly doesn't have a baton, then he can't teach!  MY BAND MUST BE BETTER!!!!!"

            The assistant hesitated and then shrugged.  "Okay, if you insist.  At least I get to break something."  She left.

*-*-*-*

            "Oooooooo!  Ms. Scott, look at these batons!"  Mr. F exclaimed, holding up a magazine from H&H.  He was checking his mail and the catalog had come in.  Captain Fly always took joy in studying the equipment that was for sale.  ((OOC...))

            She blinked and backed away slowly.  "That's… nice…"  She ran out.

            He continued to study the batons and then eventually moved on to the section with the Bach Trumpets.  A shadow was over him, then, and he looked up and screamed.

            A young woman stood over him, her messy hair going down to her shoulders, and she screamed, also.  He screamed back and she returned it.  So the contest went until, finally, she made a grab for his baton.  "GIVE ME THE BATON, CAPTAIN FLY!!!" she shrieked.

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" he yelled and held it out of her reach.  She went after him and he backed against a wall and held the baton over his head.  "It's… my…  my… PRECIOUS!!!!"

            "My lord says that I… must… DESTROY IT!!!!!!!"  She made a grab for it, her light brown hair getting in his face, and he kicked her.  They both suddenly stopped and stared at each other for a long moment.

            "What?!  Ms. L?!"  Without waiting for an answer from his former assistant director, he screeched, "HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!?!"  ((OOC... Ms. L, don't hurt me... **dodges whack to the head**))

            "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!" she shrieked back.  They had a staring contest, oblivious to the fact that the lunch period would end soon and his Symphonic Band would be entering in a matter of minutes.  She finally spoke up.  "You must leave this place or your bands will suffer greatly!  My lord, the evil High Band director, sent me here to break your batons because he says that you can't teach without one!"  She started crying and said dramatically, "You must leave!  Never show your face again until it is safe!  Go, Captain Fly!  GO!!!!"

            He blinked.  "Are you okay?"

            She immediately stopped crying.  "Yeah, okay, I am."  She skipped out.

            **dodges the instruments thrown at her head from people that were mentioned in here**  I TOLD YOU, IT'S COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER!  That's what makes it funny!  ^.^ -v-

            Read and review!  ^.^


	3. Part Two The OOCness Continues

I'm writing this in the timeframe of the Screwy Seven, but I digress.  Elliott will be taking Zara's place.  ((You can thank me later, Rissa.))  I doubt that Les would like to be in here, which is the only reason that I'm going to use Elliott instead of her.  Have a good day.

Zara, if you flame this because you have a problem with my choices, then don't even read my stuff anymore.

And now, your moment of Zen...

            Part II

*-*-*-*

            Never mind how he got to the little cottage in the middle of nowhere.  That doesn't matter.  What matters is that now Captain Fly stood in front of a little cottage after being led there by a group of Pennsylvanian walruses.  He ventured in to find the room cluttered with Band stuff all over the place.  One bed stood out from the other because it was the one clean area in the room.  A Clarinet case rested on the bed and there was no clutter.  There were seven beds altogether, each with a sign on the headboard: Amanda, Rissa, Elliott, Allison, Wendy, Audrua and Amyn.   Captain Fly studied the room, taking in the feeling of having gone crazy, when he heard the sound of the birds singing outside.  He froze.  "Oh my gosh!" he exclaimed and ran to the window and the birds.  "Y'all are flat!" he yelled at them.  "How do you even think you're going to sound better than the other birds if you're out of tune?!"  They cocked their heads to the side and he set to work fixing their song.

*-*-*-*

            "Now, begin at measure 45 and remember to use vibrato!"  The four birds immediately began when he counted them off and the four parts rang out with a remarkably in tune sound in perfect unison.  The Screwy Seven walked up behind Captain Fly as he conducted the quartet.  Once they had finished six minutes later, the group began to clap and the birds and their conductor bowed.  He then turned around and his eyes widened in horror.  "NOOOOOO!  Y'ALL FOLLOWED ME!!!!"  

            Amanda blinked.  "Yeah...  that's in the story..."

            Now, it was Captain Fly's turn to blink.  "There's a story?"

            Rissa nodded her head slowly.  "Yeah...  That's why we're all so out of character.  I mean, COME ON...  you wouldn't be checking your hair out in the mirror on a *normal* day, now would you?"

            Captain Fly thought this over.  "You're right..."

            Elliott looked around him.  "But anyway."

            Rissa thought this over.  "What's the point in this story?"

            "Uh...  I don't know."  Captain Fly pulled out a book that looked suspiciously like the score to "Spoon River," looked it over and turned to the seven.  "I can't read this!  Gya!"

            Amanda smiled, took a hold of the score and turned it over.  "It was upside down, dear."  The seven kids sweatdropped.  Captain Fly blinked.

            "Okay..."

            "Actually...  In the real story, Snow White is asleep in a bed and the seven dwarfs find her."  She looked at Captain Fly.  "You're supposed to be asleep...but you're not, so now what?"

            "Let's just act shocked," Amyn suggested.

            "Yeah... maybe that will work...   perhaps..."  Manda mused over this to herself.  "Let's just pick up from where the story would have happened!"

            "Sure," Rissa said.  Captain Fly stared blankly at the kids.  This was going to be a long story.

            I had to post something... We're out of school now ((look at my bio)) and so I'm going to write a lot... but I had to put this up in a hurry.  So sorry.  MORE TO COME...  if I get enough reviews.  =)

            Look out for the next part of Rissa's "Snoring Beaut!!"


End file.
